SNL Host Adam Driver Mocks Tesla Cybertruck Buyers: ‘Tiny Micropenis’

After a cold open poking fun at Congress’ wild antisemitism hearing this week, Adam Driver graced the stage for his fourth time hosting Saturday Night Live — one away from the much-heralded Five-Timers Club.

And the Ferrari star was, as always, game for the occasion.

During his monologue, the towering actor exclaimed, “I’m so excited to be back! Especially, I have to say, this time of year. I love Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday. The food, the music, the family. But largely, it’s because I have a very deep and personal relationship with Santa. And every year, I make my Christmas list and tell it to him. It’s kind of our ritual.”

Then, Driver launched into a piano serenade to Santa about his Christmas list this year. And yes, it was actually Driver playing, as he was quick to point out.


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“Hey, Santa!” Driver yelled. “It’s me, Adam… Driver. From the Nice List, and also Girls. I turned 40 this year, Santa. So, I’d like five pairs of chinos. I also want one of those giant metal Tesla trucks. I think it would pair perfectly with my teeny-tiny micropenis.”

He added, jokingly, “Oh, and I’d like people to stop coming up to the street and telling me, ‘You killed Han Solo!’ I didn’t kill Han Solo. Wokeness killed Han Solo.”

And then there was more: “Oh, you know those TikToks where it’s like those couples that do pranks on each other? Can you kill those people?”

With that, Driver played “O Holy Night” while making “unbreakable eye contact with the camera.”

But that didn’t last very long. Driver also lauded eggnog, which he said was his favorite kind of eggs.

“Another thing I love about Christmas is eggnog. It’s my favorite way to have egg. Whenever I go to a diner and they say, ‘How would you like your eggs?’ I say, ‘Nog,’” Driver offered.