‘SNL’ Cold Open: George Santos Plays Himself Off With ‘Scandal In The Wind’
Saturday Night Live kicked off with Bowen Yang reprising his role as George Santos in what could be one of the last instances of the former congressman being the subject of such a high-profile lampoon given his expulsion from the House of Representatives Friday.
Santos’ removal–the sixth such expulsion in the chamber’s history–came amid his indictment for nearly two dozen crimes including identity theft and wire and credit card fraud. A damning House ethics report earlier this month also alleged, among many other misdeeds, spending of campaign funds for personal use, and concluded that he “sought to fraudulently exploit every aspect of his House candidacy for his own personal financial profit.”
Yang, draped in black like Santos was during his expulsion vote, opened his farewell press conference outside the Capitol by pleading for everyone to stop “assaulting” him.
“This entire country has been bullying me just because I’m a proud, gay thief. What else is new? America hates to see a latina queen winning,” he said. “Since the day I was elected, it’s been a witch hunt, but if I’m guilty of anything, it’s for loving too much/fraud.”
Yang then called on a reporter (Ego Nwodim), asking for her “name and routing number.”
“You want me to say that I’m lost, that I’m humiliated?” he went on. “Fine, so I’m no longer congressman Santos. I’m regular old professor major general reverend astronaut Santos, protector of the realm, princess of Genovia. Now is being expelled and prosecuted for 23 felonies a setback? Sure. But I promised myself I wouldn’t let it ruin my Kwanzaa. Okay. Next question. You, give me your mother’s maiden name and childhood pet.”
As for how he’ll be remembered, Yang replied: “As a martyr, as a champion of the people. They’ll think of me as the modern Princess Diana and the modern Marilyn Monroe, which is why I think I would like to sing a tribute to myself.”
Yang then hopped on the piano and recounted his lowest moments from his brief tenure in office, signing to the tune of Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind”:
“And it seems to me I’ve lived my life like a scandal in the wind /
Never knowing who to cling to when the law closed in.”
…
“And it seems to me I’ve lived my life like an evil Forrest Gump /
I’m the guy who lied even too much for Donald Trump.”