“Bad Habits” makes Ed Sheeran’s glory days as a M’ladyman with an acoustic guitar seem almost charming. After dabbling in dancehall and hip-hop on 2019’s No.6 Collaborations Project, the lad remains firmly committed to exploring all the different shades of derivative. Sheeran’s take on a post-pandemic club tune (his words) has zero edge, flaunting a noirish synth line but neutering any real hints of danger. It’s all painfully predictable: Sheeran’s titular bad habits give way to loneliness, empty conversations, and regret. Eventually, he concludes, “My bad habits lead to you,” throwing in an obligatory coo. The whole thing aspires for Abel but settles for anonymity.

The “Bad Habits” video suggests that these late-night escapades are a sort of Joker origin story for Sheeran. Wearing fangs and a hot pink suit, he and his crew of punkish droogs get up to some nonsensical mischief, like walking through the streets Suicide Squad-style. At one point, Sheeran hands a smiley face balloon to a little lost vampire girl. Seconds later, he catches a clean-shaven version of himself who then deflates in his arms. Watching through gritted teeth, I optimistically wondered if Sheeran’s New Romantic vampire antics were distorting my experience of the song. But the undead aesthetic could not be more suitable: “Bad Habits” will suck the life out of you.