Fiona Apple‘s Fetch the Bolt Cutters has won the Grammy for Best Alternative Music Album, beating out Beck, Phoebe Bridgers, Brittany Howard, and Tame Impala. She wasn’t on hand to accept the award, as she explained earlier today on Instagram:

It’s not because I’m trying to protest, even though I have problems with the Grammys. It’s not because of that I’m not going. It’s just really because I don’t want to be on national television. I’m just not made for that kind of stuff anymore. I want to stay sober and I can’t do that sober. It doesn’t feel safe to me, to be in that kind of exposure, scrutiny, comparison to people.

There’s been lots of questions about the transparency of the Grammys, and I feel like that’s important but it’s not important. I care but I don’t care. What really really is undeniably important is the transparency in actual court rooms. And for that reason, I want to ask anybody who’s looking at this to please sign this petition to keep the virtual access to courts open for court watchers. Specifically for PG County, Maryland, which is the court watching group that I’m part of. They’re trying to shut us out, and you gotta question it.

Previously, when asked what she’d do if she won, she said, “What would I do If I won? My vision was that I would just get up there with a sledgehammer and I wouldn’t say anything, I would take the Grammy and smash it into enough pieces to share and I would invite all the ladies up.”

Fiona’s “Shameika” also won Best Rock Performance (beating out Phoebe Bridgers, Brittany Howard, Big Thief, HAIM, and Grace Potter) but lost Best Rock Song to Brittany Howard (who also beat out Phoebe, Tame Impala, and Big Thief). Phoebe is also up for Best New Artist.

The Strokes won Best Rock Album.

Full winners list HERE.