Film Twitter may keep vintage Paul Thomas Anderson alive by reposting that one grainy video of him every few weeks, but Fiona Apple remembers a different P.T.A. In a new interview with Apple, The New Yorker writes that Anderson was “coldly critical, contemptuous” during their relationship. Apple and Anderson started dating in 1997. They collaborated in their work, did drugs like coke and ecstasy together, and at the time Apple drank heavily. Throughout their three-year relationship, Apple remembers Anderson saying harsh words, telling her she was a bad partner, making her look unstable, and, once, he shoved her out of a car. She remembers he threw a chair across the room after the 1998 Academy Awards, where Boogie Nights lost Best Original Screenplay. “Fuck this, this is not a good relationship,” Apple recalled thinking at the time. They’d date for two more tumultuous years, during which, Apple clarifies, he never hit her. Anderson declined to comment through his agent.

Apple also touched on some other bullets dodged, namely Louis C.K. and David Blaine. The “Criminal” singer was “disturbed” to find out her ex David Blaine was listed in Jeffrey Epstein’s black book and disappointed in Louis C.K.’s return to comedy. Though she initially sent him a note asking him to try harder, Apple became more critical of C.K. after getting to know one of the comedians he harassed, Rebecca Corry, through her advocacy organization for pit bulls. In a text to The New Yorker, Apple described her frustration with C.K.’s lack of self-scrutiny. “I SHAKE when I have to think and write about myself,” she wrote. “It’s scary to go there but I go there. He is so WEAK.”