Bleta Rexha, better known by her stage name, Bebe Rexha is sparking conversation about mental illness and her personal struggles with being bipolar. While she has been one of the most  and talented artists of the past decade, writing music for the likes of and working closely with artists like and , she’s struggled with mental health issues since she was a child. Now, in a candid interview with Self Magazine, the  singer is ready to discuss her experience as a bipolar woman in the music industry.  

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In April 2019, the 30-year old songstress took to Twitter to reveal that she was struggling with the mental disorder, writing:

“For the longest time, I didn’t understand why I felt so sick. Why I felt lows that made me not want to leave my house or be around people and why I felt highs that wouldn’t let me sleep, wouldn’t let me stop working or creating music. Now I know why.”

While talking to Self Mag, the fusion singer went into detail about her experience stating:

“I was very fearful. I didn’t want to think there was something wrong with me… Growing up, when I had anxiety and depression, they’d be like, just get over it. It’s all in your head. Take a walk… For my parents, it was hard because they felt like it was a sense of failure. But it’s not their failure at all; it’s just an illness.”

Throughout her life, the former The Voice coach experienced symptoms of bipolar disorder such as mood swings, anxiousness, and overwhelming depression. In the midst of her mental health issues, she was also diagnosed with premenstrual dysphoric disorder, a condition that transpires a week or two before a woman’s menstrual cycle, which can cause severe irritability, depression, or anxiety. As a child of Albanian immigrant parents, Rexha didn’t have access to professional help for quite some time. During the interview, she expressed her experience stating:

“My mom would call it code red. A day before (my period started), I would feel like my world was ending … I would get into these funks and be really depressed and not want to leave my house.”

Eventually, with the support of her friends and her family, Bebe Rexha found a therapist and began taking medication under the guidance of a psychiatrist, despite her fears of the meds affecting her creativity as an artist. She continued:

“I waited a very long time until I took meds. I was really scared that it was going to flatten me out. (Medication has) maybe helped me be a little bit more insightful and learn things about the world and also allowed me to be a little bit more centered so that I can actually write about my feelings.”

Lastly, Rexha opened up about how her experience could possibly help her fans stating:

“I felt like me opening up to my fans was me finally saying, ‘I’m not going to be imprisoned by this,’ And maybe it’ll make somebody not feel imprisoned, in that moment, if they feel like they’re going through a rough time. That’s why I decided to really open up and to free myself from that.”

Check out Bebe Rexha’s full interview with Self Magazine, here, and also watch the  do some squats with her pup in the video provided below.