Ari Lennox took to Instagram to tell the world how she really feels about being in the public eye. As Ari began growing a larger and larger following following the release of her debut album, Shea Butter Baby, last year, she became known for her outspokenness on platforms like Instagram live. The singer has gained a reputation for being unapologetically honest and has received  as a result. On Wednesday, she decided to pen a lengthy message in a post featuring a photo of herself as a young girl to outline the key problems with being a celebrity.

“Man I wish I could start over,” she began. “Go back to this girl. Wish I never showed the world my personality. Wish I never did an ig live. Wish I wasn’t so naive. Wish I never loved as hard as I do. Wish I was smarter. Honestly wish this was a world where you could be free and not judged. 

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“Me opening up myself to the world has only damaged my career,” she continued, “but realistically how many people really vouching for soul in mainstream? I felt my personality helped but it hasn’t. I literally can’t be a carefree woman. I have to live a lie because people are so judgmental and self righteous. Like even if I was insecure that makes people feel good stating that aloud? Even if I was all these things what’s the point in going out your way to say it? If I never returned to social media could it really erase everything’s happened? No. But I’m going to try.”

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“I really just want things to be about the music,” Ari concluded. “If I’m going to be this imperfect woman, I need to be it off the grid. You think priding yourself on my weakness makes you so righteous? It’s wild crazy. B*tches can’t even be carefree. People think the industry is the worst part of being successful, no it’s the people judging your every move.” While it’s unclear whether Ari will be taking a social media hiatus or not, she definitely seems to be fed up with all the scrutiny she’s faced since becoming famous.